The complexities of my childhood traumas ranged from being sexually abused to returning to an empty home as a latchkey kid, from living in an emotionally hostile home to my parents getting a divorce, from being exposed to alcohol at a young age to my parents ignoring my pain, and I can keep going. According to the ACEs Study, I should’ve been an at-risk youth and an unhealthy adult, but I believe there are two factors in my life that changed my entire trajectory.
The first: performing arts.
Acting, singing, and dancing saved my life. Performance gave me a space to behave and express in ways I couldn’t at home. And it makes sense, the performing arts forced me to be embodied—to feel. It taught me how to come inward and develop interoception. On stage, I could move, verbalize, and embody emotions that felt so normal to my being (in rehearsals we would literally practice S.I.B.A.M.). The stage gave me an opportunity to deactivate the hurt and pain I was feeling at home. And it was celebrated by my teachers, mentors, and the audience.
The second: empathetic witnesses.
I always had an inherent desire to connect with safe adults during my childhood. And I was lucky to have several adults who created that safety for me. These teachers and mentors believed in me. They loved me despite my flaws. And they helped carry the heavy burdens I had been holding onto.
Ms. Kachmanian, Mr. Ebersole, The Lasits, Steve “H” Harrington, and Brandon Harrington were these teachers who doubled as empathetic witnesses. And I am forever grateful.
Watching Maureen Gallahger and Abi Blakeslee in demos reminded me of what it felt like as a kid to be seen and heard. And each time, I felt a part of me heal.
These insights about my development started to really come together while I was training at Somatic Experiencing International®. I grew up in an educational system that encouraged and rewarded intellect but didn’t foster the “felt-sense” or embodiment. So while the performing arts passively trained me to be a “sensitive feeler,” many of my peers were being actively trained to “overthink.”
And this is why this work is needed in our world. More of us somatic practitioners need to be out in the world sharing our experience and knowledge of SE™ work. Many of our clients have found incredible material success by living in their heads, but suffer in their relationships, health, and sense of self. I want my communities to come back to their bodies because I believe that when people come back to themselves, they return home.
I had been living the SE™ model my entire life but didn’t know it. It further proves that we need these empathetic witnesses to heal, and when we have that, our bodies know what to do. After completing SE™, I now have the words, data, and research to help me describe what I had always been feeling. This 3-year training helped me become a better facilitator, practitioner, and healer. But the greatest gift I’ve received is more insight into my own life. Because of this, I’m a better husband, brother, and friend.
Today I get to carry on the legacy of my greatest teachers by teaching my clients how to drop out of their heads and come into their bodies. And I get to be an empathetic witness for their inner child.
Mike Sagun (he/him)
Mike is a Certified Professional Coach and future SEP™. He primarily works with male-identified folx through 1:1 coaching, virtual programs, and in-person retreats. He specializes in stress/burnout, sexual, emotional, and physical abuse, and relationships.