Happy New Year! I want to write about so many different pieces happening at Somatic Experiencing International (SEI). I want to share how much has shifted and changed in the past few years. And there is a heaviness that comes with this new year, in the midst of an Omicron surge, that feels like it is almost impossible to say anything at all except, “we’re still living through a pandemic!” And despite that, the changing of the solar calendar is an opportunity to reflect and to look forward – what have we learned this past year, and what we hope to do better in the coming year. As always, are there ways that SE can help guide us as an organization to do better?
I expect many of us have had moments that stick with us and help us to make sense of our lives up until that moment. I had another one of those on New Year’s Eve. On December 31, I was with my mom as she participated in Shabbat services at the synagogue where I was raised, via Zoom. The rabbi mentioned “the secular new year,” and in that moment, my nervous system perked up and then settled into a new understanding. For whatever reason, this moment hit me differently, and on a nervous system level. This was not, of course, the first time I had felt how this solar calendar new year differed from the Jewish new year, and how it differed from all the other new year celebrations at various times around the world. What struck me, though, for maybe the first time somatically, is how much of an impact being a non-binary, white-skinned Jew in America has impacted me, how I view the world, and how I view our role here at SEI. That simple clause, “the secular new year,” hit differently this year. For me personally, these identity experiences have meant that I never quite “fit in” with the world around me; I always got the message that I was “being a girl wrong” or that I had to miss school for holidays few others celebrated around me. I only got to tangentially partake in society, and at any time I could be pushed out entirely. Growing up, I did not have a blueprint for how to be myself in a world where “myself” had no reflection. It was not until I found Somatic Experiencing as a modality that I began to understand who I am and how my felt sense as an outsider has helped me to navigate the world and to navigate what happens here at SEI.
It was SE that helped me learn to hold these larger complexities and both stay true to myself within the larger society as well as connect with people through their experiences of not feeling like they fit in or not feeling seen for who they are. This community has given me, and I know so many of you, that same felt sense of connection in ways that many of us had not experienced before.
So many people share some version of this story – SE helped them to find a way to integrate how they had managed to navigate the world up until finding this modality. In addition to the modality, however, there is also the SE community. I have said this before, but perhaps my favorite thing about the SE community is how different we all are . . . with a shared understanding. We share this language that connects us across countries, professions, gender, ethnicity, race, and so much more.
Even with that shared language, however, some people feel unseen, not met, and not held. As Marv, our executive director, so eloquently stated in his letter in the last SE Today, we have made some mistakes as an organization and as leaders. Like Marv, I am committed to doing better this year, to honoring the felt sense of not fitting in and doing my best to help create an environment where everyone is not only welcome, but everyone is celebrated for who they are. These words can sound like platitudes, but I hope that by sharing more of myself here, they come with the understanding that I do not want anyone to feel like they do not belong in our community. We always have more work to do, and as this pandemic rages on, some days it becomes difficult to do anything, let alone the repair and growth that are always necessary in an organization. My commitment this year is to show up more fully as myself and to support spaces where everyone can be themselves. And if you honor this solar calendar new year, may it be a time for us to stop, to reflect, and to commit to showing up for each other in new ways.
As always, you can reach me directly at rmstahl@traumahealing.org or the organization more generally at listening@traumahealing.org.
Warmly,
Rebecca